Wednesday, March 11, 2009

"Serious martial artist" who challenged his neighbors to nude karate fights gets one month in jail

The defendant was from Gettysburg so he should have told the judge he was channeling the ghost of Brigadier General George Armstrong Custer and that his wool uniform was chafing his skin; and that the neighbors were secessionists who refused to acknowledge the political supremacy of the Union. Thus they were past due for a naked ninja beat-down.

Of course, I am not an attorney- just one of God's nude soldiers.

A Gettysburg man accused of walking out of his home naked, then challenging his neighbors to a karate fight pleaded guilty to charges of indecent exposure in Adams County court.

The charges filed against Gary Jones, 47, of 4820 Old Harrisburg Road, Lot 6, are considered a misdemeanor of the first degree since three of those who saw him naked are under the age of 16.

Under a plea agreement reached with the Adams County District Attorney's office, Jones will spend one month in jail, two months on house arrest and 21 months on probation, and is restricted from any contact with his neighbors. He is also to pay a $200 fine.

According to court documents, Jones was allegedly under the influence of alcohol when the Aug. 1 incident occurred.

He is accused of walking out of his home, completely naked. He walked up to Dennis Hucks, Gary Kerns and Andrea Orndorff, according to state police. He told the men he knew karate, and asked if they wanted to fight.

Huck's three children were playing in the yard at the time, according to court documents.

According to police, Jones said he knew leaving the house naked was illegal, but he was a "serious martial artist."

Via The Evening Sun

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